The unique birthday tradition I didn’t expect to become a favorite

I’m not sure when this tradition started but it just kind of did. One year I woke up early and did it and I’ve found myself reaching for it every year after. It’s not really a “fun” birthday tradition, definitely a unique birthday tradition I didn’t expect to become a favorite but it has.

The older I’ve gotten the more I’ve realized that my birthday always carries with it a bit of heaviness. Sadness. It’s hard to allow myself to get older. There’s always a bit of feeling like the years are passing too fast – I’m becoming ever more aware of how short this life really is. A feeling that that I didn’t quite reach the goals I’d had for myself and I wish I was farther along in my life. I think when I started to notice this heaviness, I deep down knew I needed a way to process it so I woke up early before everyone was up, before the birthday celebrating began, and took a quiet minute for me. I pulled out my journal and wrote and I’ve been doing it ever since. It’s become something I feel like I need for me to help me show up to my birthday and the year ahead in the energy and intention I want to bring to it.

Every year has followed a bit of a different trajectory but they all have a common theme – a reflection of the year behind and often looking forward to what’s ahead. I also have a similar ritual around the new year. Instead of making a bunch of resolutions I’m probably not going to keep anyway, I reflect on what I DID do, what I learned, how I grew, what I survived, etc. and it’s always amazing to me to see how much I really went through, learned, did, experienced, and how I grew in a year. I think it’s easy to get so caught up in who we want to be and where we want to be with our life that it’s easy to forget just how far we’ve actually come. After doing that I’ve found it helps me set clearer goals and intentions that actually reflect my present reality and come from a place of security rather than scrutiny or pressure.

And, for my birthday specifically, it’s easy for me to get caught up in feeling sad that I’m getting older. That time is passing. So sitting down to reflect on the year and just how far I really have come from my last birthday and how much I have learned has become one of my staples and one of my favorite parts of my birthday. Not because I necessarily love sitting down to journal but more because it helps me transition. It helps me leave the age I’m leaving behind with more peace. It helps me feel less sad about getting older and instead more proud of how I’ve grown and who I’m becoming.

Each year has a really relaxed structure. I don’t have a specific journal template, I just sit down to reflect and it becomes whatever reflection this year needed it to be.

One year I realized I wasn’t grateful for what was right in front of me so I reflected on my birthday number of gratitudes. One year I wrote all I had actually done during the age I had just left and what I hoped to do in the age I was entering. When I turned 30 I wrote what I wanted to leave behind in the decade behind me and burned it, and I’m working on a in-depth reflection of the lessons from my twenties (soon to come 👀📕).

So as I sit down this year to write my journal entry from the first year in my thirties I feel the same weightiness that I feel every year. Sad I’m already a year in, but also excited because I know this reflection will help shift my energy and perspective. Excited because I know I’ll walk away proud of myself for what I have learned and conquered, and hopeful for the year ahead.

If you try it, I’d love to hear how this shifts things for you on your birthday, or if you have a unexpected favorite birthday tradition.

Always rooting for you.

Xo,

Lauren